100 Reasons Why Captain Kirk Is Better Than Captain Picard

[Majestic]

Source: FunniGurl.com

100 Reasons Why Captain Kirk is Better Than Captain Picard

100. Kirk is a leader, not a follower.

99. Kirk never really got into that kinky "Jumpsuit" look.

98. Kirk has sex more than once a season.

97. One Word: Hair. (don't think so)

96. Another Word: Pretty-good-looking-can't-see-the-weave-wig.

95. Kirk can beat up a Klingon bare-handed.

94. Picard is a French man with an English accent.(melts ya ray gun 2~)

93. Kirk would date Beverly Crusher -- and damn the consequences!!

92. Kirk never drinks tea. Ever.

91. Diplomacy for Kirk is a phaser and a smirk.

90. Kirk would personally throw Wesley off his bridge.

89. Two words: Shoulder Roll.

88. Kirk doesn't wear dresses when admirals arrive for lunch.

87. Kirk once said: "I've got a belly-ache -- and it's a beauty."

86. Kirk would never sing to children in a crisis.

85. Kirk can almost drive a stick shift.

84. Kirk, almost single-handedly, repopulated the Earth's whale population.

83. Kirk says "Prime Directive? What Prime Directive?"

82. Kirk knows 20th Century curses.

81. Kirk was never infiltrated by the Borg and used against the Federation.

80. Kirk ate little coloured cubes and still remained relatively healthy.

79. Kirk made do with obviously low performance technology.

78. Kirk never pretends to be a barber in order to gain a tactical advantage.

77. Kirk wasn't shy about taking his shirt off -- even around those pesky Yeomans.

76. Kirk would never waste a holodeck on something stupid like Dixon Hill.

75. Kirk never once stood up and had to straighten his shirt.

74. One Word: Velour.

73. Kirk can beat a Vulcan at Chess.

72. When Kirk was Picard's age, he retired from Admiral and took to climbing rocks.

71. When Picard was 37, he was only Captain of the lowly freighter, Stargazer.
When Kirk was 37, he was Captain of the flagship Enterprise.

70. Kirk liked a good belt of liquor every now and again.

69. One Word: Iman.

68. Kirk looks good with a ripped shirt.

67. If Kirk ever met a Ferengi, he would rip off its head.

66. Kirk says "Shoot first and wait for retaliation."

65. Kirk's first officer never tells him to stay on the bridge.

64. Kirk never leaves the room to bawl somebody out.

63. Kirk doesn't rely on the wisdom of some dumb old janitor to get him out of intergalactic scrapes.

62. Two Words: Funky Sideburns.

61. Kirk never asks his bartender for advice.

60. Kirk never once said "Abandon ship! All hands abandon ship!"

59. Kirk is not politically correct.

58. Kirk never got "dumped" by a woman for an intergalactic busy body named after a letter of the alphabet.

57. Kirk never wore green tights and frolicked about in Sherwood Forest.

56. If there was ever a Klingon on Kirk's bridge, Kirk would likely be dead.

55. Ever hear of a bar shooter called "Make it so?" No? How about a "Beam me up Scotty" then?
See the difference?

54. One Word: Miniskirts.

53. Kirk's girlfriends always look good in soft light.

52. Kirk never went anywhere without a whole bunch of guys in red shirts.

51. Kirk's first officer didn't play some wimpy instrument like the trombone.

50. Kirk had more dates than his first officer.

49. The extent of Kirk's knowledge of Klingon vocabulary can be roughly translated as
"GO ____ YOURSELF!"


48. If something doesn't speak English -- it's toast.

47. Kirk wasn't some prissy archaeology fan.

46. Picard's middle name isn't tough or awe-inspiring like Tiberius is.

45. If Kirk finds a strange spinning probe, he blows it up.

44. Picard never met Joan Collins.

43. Picard flunked his entrance exams to Starfleet.

42 Picard hasn't fathered any children; Kirk -- probably millions.

41. Kirk has a cool phaser -- not some pansy Braun mix-master.

40. Two Words: Line Delivery.

39. Picard grew up on a quaint little French vineyard, squishing grapes with his toes,
while Kirk slung bails of wheat and hay in Iowa to put himself through school.

38. Kirk emphasizes his orations with pertinent hand gestures.

37. Kirk once made a cannon out of bamboo, sulphur, potassium nitrate, charcoal
and then fired diamonds into the hearts of his enemies. (Need we say more?)

36. Kirk is not put off by green skin.

35. Kirk knows how to deal with peace loving hippy goofs.

34. Kirk once fought a Greek god. And won.

33. Kirk barely asks for suggestions. And if he does, he asks Spock only.

32. Kirk doesn't let the doctor tell him what to do.

31. One Word: Fisticuffs.

30. Kirk's name is hated throughout the galaxy.

29. Kirk appreciates Shakespeare, but he doesn't let it show.

28. You can never lock up Kirk for very long.

27. Kirk's eulogies can actually make you cry.

26. Kirk plays god with lesser cultures, and then exploits them for resources.

25. Kirk's son would never drop out to become a musician.

24. Kirk can climb up a Jeffries Tube and fix anything.

23. Kirk never hired an engineer with punk glasses.

22. The Klingons didn't have a word for surrender -- until they met Kirk.

21. Kirk's bridge is not beige.

20.Two Words: Crane Shots.

19. Picard likes wimpy violin music -- and coerces Data into playing it.

18. Picard allows cats on board, while Kirk beams away even really cute things, like Tribbles.

17. Kirk is a cultural icon -- Picard is just some guy who's really nice.

16. Kirk specifically ordered a swivel LA-Z-BOY for the bridge.

15. Kirk would never touch SYNTHAHOL.

14. Kirk looks distinguished in reading glasses -- and nobody dares to call him "four eyes."

13. Kirk can infiltrate Gangsters, Nazis, and even the Pentagon -- easily.

12. Picard likes painting nudes, for art's sake.

11. When Kirk doesn't trust the Romulans, he fires at them. When
Picard doesn't trust the Romulans, he gets fired at.

10. Kirk never once, ever, wore a wiener wrapping Speedo banana hammock on shore leave.

9. Kirk never gets his command codes locked out by some pimply acting ensign.

8. Kirk doesn't test the engines -- he just fires them up.

7. When Kirk says "Boldly Go," he means it.

6. Three Words: Flying Leg Kick

5. Picard's crew would never ever think of him as a sexual object.

4. Kirk traveled through The Great Barrier, met God, and wasn't even impressed.

3. Kirk's bedroom is a passion pit with electric sheets.

2. Kirk would never let his Chief of Security wear a ponytail.

1. One Word: Balls

I honestly don't know who I pefer.

 

[_VARGR_]

LOL i would have to agree with that 100%. I never liked the next generation and Picard just didnt have any of the feel that the origional series had created at all. KIRK RULES!!!!

 

[EAS_Intrepid]

Well, I think Kirk was the prototype captain for Star Trek. Gene Roddenberry created the characters with the influence of the current situation- and that was the Cold War. So Kirk was a little like a jarhead, while Picard is a diplomat (oh, that must have been the diplomatic influences of the Gorbatschov era and the "European decade", so Picard is also a Frenchman).
I think both are equal. Picard can still go against Shinzon and the Son'a, but Kirk resqued the whale population, killed Chang (my fav. Klingon, BTW) and made sure that Picard could rescue Veridian III!
They are equal!

 

[CrazyFrog1903]

This is like comparing apples and oranges. They are both food but are completely different.

Comparing Kirk to Picard is near impossible. They live in completely different times. To each thier own. That is all I have to say about this subject.

 

[Hellkite]

101 reasons why Captain Picard is better than Captain Kirk.

101. Two Words: better voice.
100. Picard's ship's counselor traded in her miniskirt for that great low-cut neckline.
99. Kirk fought over women. Picard had women fight over him.
98. Picard fire both photon torpedoes AND phasers at the same time when in battle.
97. Picard's ship is better than Kirk's -- better, faster, stronger.
96. Picard hates children -- Kirk once rescued a bunch of patricidal little maniacs, tried to console them, and almost lost his ship and crew in the process.
95. Picard was responsible for Beverly Crusher's husband dying, berated her son constantly in her presence, yet still manged to make her fall for him.
94. Though admittedly he's seldom a patron, Picard's ship actually has a BAR.
93. Kirk fought others himself, Picard has others do his fighting for him.
92. When nurse Chapel re-appeared as Troi's mother, she fell for Picard.
91. In seven years, Picard never developed a gut like Kirk's.
90. Picard was never killed by his first officer.
89. Picard's family made alchoholic beverages for a living.
88. Kirk kept losing security guards throughout each season; Picard has kept Worf for seven years.
87. No member of Picard's crew was EVER based on a member of the Monkees.
86. Two words: better actor.
85. Picard can do better impressions of his first officer.
84. Picard single-handedly saved the Federation, the Klingon Empire, and all of humanity while still a lowly captain.
83. Picard's a better musician than Kirk, while admittedly that's not saying much.
82. Picard's crew members sleep with one another on a regular basis.
81. Picard's crew gambles.
80. Picard's engine room has that neat warp coil that glows.
79. Picard's ship has better control panels instead of a series of Lite-Brite boards.
78. Picard would never star in a show like "T.J. Hooker."
77. Picard would never have allowed Charlie X aboard his ship.
76. No sideburns. 'Nuff said.
75. Picard's first officer never seized control of the ship to transport a former captain anywhere.
74. Despite the Borg incident, Picard is still welcome back at Starfleet HQ. Kirks name is an anathema to Starfleet HQ and alien races alike.
73. Picard never ordered his ship to self-destruct as a bluff; when he orders it to do so, he MEANS it.
72. Picard's ship was never taken over by its own computer and made to attack other Starfleet vessels.
71. Picard has never been made into a bad Filmation cartoon.
70. Picard was able to bring Denise Crosby back from the dead. Need we say more?
69. Picard infiltrated Romulus, posed as an intergalactic mercenary, and was tortured extensively after capture by the Cardassians -- and never broke a sweat.
68. Picard has never been demoted.
67. Picard has never had his body taken over by a former lover.
66. Picard has never developed amnesia and thought he was an Indian.
65. Picard has never encountered aliens from wierd planets like "Zatar."
64. Picard's quarters have a window.
63. Nobody ever back-slaps Picard.
62. Picard was never involved in any hokey shootouts at the OK corral.
61. Picard is a caffiene addict. (All that Earl Grey tea.)
60. One word: Leadership.
59. Kirk is not a sex symbol. Never was, never will be.
58. If Picard had a son, he wouldn't lose a fight to a Klingon whose commander was Christopher Lloyd.
57. Speaking of losing, Picard has never lost a first officer to a man who once made a career out of selling Chrysler Cordobas, either.
56. Picard would never be so stupid as to go rock climbing without equipment and rely on an overweight first officer with rocket boots to save his ass.
55. Picard would never stand for playing "Row Row Row your boat" around a campfire.
54. When Picard enters a room, people fall silent; when Kirk enters one, they keep on drinking.
53. Picard has that cool, futuristic artificial heart.
52. When Picard has an alternate reality experience, it's worth watching and caring about.
51. Picard never expects the impossible from his engineer.
50. When Klingons are aboard Picard's ship, they don't go rampaging about with 17th century weaponry.
49. Picard has more class than Kirk ever had.
48. If poor judgement were bricks, Kirk would be a housing project. 47. Picard had the chutzpah to admit when he screwed up instead of putting on a face which only made things worse.
46. Picard doesn't rely on the Organians to help him settle intergalactic squabbles.
45. Picard gets along with the aliens aboard his ship.
44. It's unlikely Picard ever contracted a sexually-transmitted disease.
43. One word: diagnostic (Never heard it on the old show.)
42. All that cool technical jargon (Also never heard on old show.)
41. Picard has hair on his chest.
40. Picard can actually make being bald, middle-aged, and scrawny look sexy & macho.
39. Kirk sat alone in the middle of his bridge; Picard kept counselor Troi within easy reach and view at all times.
38. Picard has never mutinied or had his crew mutiny against him.
37. When Picard gets drunk, he tracks mud all over the house and gets in a fight. When Kirk gets drunk, he passes out.
36. Picard hired Whoopi Goldberg to work in his bar.
35. Picard is not afraid to mind-meld.
34. Picard's ex kept her neme even after the divorce; Kirk's kept it a secret even from her son.
33. Picard like solving mysteries; Kirk couldn't figure one out if he tried.
32. Picard has never messed up with the transporter.
31. Picard has never been bitten by a mugatto. Nor has he ever allowed shape-shifting salt vampires aboard his ship, either.
30. Picard has never aged prematurely.
29. Picard wasn't afraid to take on Satan.
28. Picard knows Gilgamesh & is able to recite it.
27. Picard argues with his captors while being tortured, Kirk merely screams in agony.
26. Picard never brought a woman back from the 20th Century only to have her blow him off in front of the entire Federation assembly.
25. When Picard talks, people listen.
24. If Picard were a late-night talk-show host, he'd be Dick Cavett. If Kirk were a late-night host, he'd be Chevy Chase.
23. NO ONE laughs when Picard's Doctor says, "He's dead, Jean-Luc."
22. Picard has never kissed a Romulan.
21. Picard has never crashed in San Francisco bay in a pirated spacecraft.
20. Picard would never have brought "Nomad" aboard his ship.
19. If Khan came aboard Picard's ship, Picard would have had the common sense to restrict what technical manuals he would've been allowed to review.
18. If Picard found a huge glowing sphere in the middle of outer space only to discover it was controlled by a child with an ugly puppet, he'd be pissed.
17. Picard would never ATTEMPT hand-to-hand combat with a gorn.
16. Picard would never have dropped the charges against Khan.
15. Kirk actually tried to defend the idea of intergalactic war with the Klingons.
14. When Kirk went back in time, he frequently messed with history tp suit his own ends.
13. Picard probably would have found the Galileo 7 in less time than it took Kirk.
12. Three words: Better costuiime variety.
11. Kirk tries, usually unsuccessfully, to respect other cultures. Picard tries, usually successfully, to get other cultures to respect him.
10. Kirk's occasional game of choice is 3-D chess, Picard's is poker.
9. "Picard" has more syllables than "Kirk."
8. Can't forget those neat collar insignias.
7. Picard's not afraid to deal with more advanced cultures & has done so on a number of occassions.
6. Picard's been on both Klingon birds-of-prey AND the heavy cruisers (and lived to tell about it).
5. When Picard goes undercover, he makes it look easy.
4. Though Picard has contempt for aliens like the Cardassians, he doesn't let it show.
3. Kirk wears boots -- Picard wears shoes. And as we all know, it's gotta be the shoes...
2. Assimilating has never been a problem for Picard.
1. Picard has never trashed Gene Roddenberry.

 

[Majestic]

Ah excellent come back Hellkite.

 

[Hellkite]

thank you Maj

and I lke to Add

 

[CrazyFrog1903]

Those are both great Hellkite.

 

[Cylon]

At least Piccard had the guts to admit he was bald

 

[EAS_Intrepid]

I got another point FOR Picard!
There was (or still is) some high ranked person the European Space Agency with the name Jean-Luc Picard!

 

[Mysticalwolf]

another point for kirk

kirk had a first officer that could mind meld when needed to find out important info crucial to the safty of the ship and crew captain picard just uses force to get the info or worf

 

[Hellkite]

kirk had a first officer that could mind meld when needed to find out important info crucial to the safty of the ship and crew captain picard just uses force to get the info or worf

Your forgeting Troi "Bataziod impath " and he allways has Dr.Selar "Vulcan Female one of the Ship's Doctors " and Lets not for get the best hacker starfleet Data

 

[Cylon]

Kirk died Piccard didnt

 

[Hellkite]

to be Fare he did Die in Tapestry but he came back to life laughing as he comes to, his bionic heart reactivated.

and wile he was dead he got some good barbs atand on Q

"I refuse to believe that the afterlife is run by you; the universe is not so badly designed."

- Picard to Q and Kirk alway tryed to Cheat death look at what Picard did and Said

"I can't live out my days as that person! That man is bereft of passion ... and imagination! That is not who I am!" ... "I would rather die as the man I was than live the life I just saw."

- Picard to Q

 

[EAS_Intrepid]

Kirk died Piccard didnt

to be Far he did Die in Tapestry but he came back to life laughing as he comes to, his bionic heart reactivated.

and wile he was dead he got some good barbs atand on Q

"I refuse to believe that the afterlife is run by you; the universe is not so badly designed."

- Picard to Q and Kirk alway tryed to Cheat death look at what Picard did and Said

"I can't live out my days as that person! That man is bereft of passion ... and imagination! That is not who I am!" ... "I would rather die as the man I was than live the life I just saw."

- Picard to Q

Well, hellkite, the other answer could be:
"Not yet!"

 

[_VARGR_]

Another for James T Kirk! Kirk died Protecting Picards crew from some phyco.