La Patience
22-03-2008, 02:51
Well everyone lol id first like to say that im sorry if this is the wrong place to put this and if so could you let me know emediatly lol.
anywho this is the first chapter of a story i rote a couple of years ago, its my first attempt at Sci-Fi and id really like your oppinions lol, if you like it i will add the second chapter and so on lol. anyway its realy just a bit of fun hee
so here it is (as of yet its titled The Planet hee
Patience walked along the corridor of the Holly Bird while looking out of the thick glass that was all that stood between her and the massive viod known as space. The Holly Bird was a space transport that was 2 days from Patience's destination, the planet Erengal or more importantly the huge city of Erengial which was biult from the latest technology. Patience couldn't wait to see the city that poeple said was alive with technology, this was going to be her big break. She could find a place to stay and apply to the department of robotics to show off her lifes work.
just wait until they see Elmina, Patience thought with a smile they will surely hire me on the spot and then i will be set for life hehehee.
The Holly Bird was not the most attractive ship around both externaly and internaly but it was a fast ship and that was all Patience wanted to know before choosing to board it.
Patience was a young woman the age of 26. she was a tall woman and a thin one, as a young woman she was chided about her lack of bust but she had bigger things to think of than how to get a man, or men at all for that matter. she had spent the last 10 years creating Elmina and as a re**** of all her funds going into Elmina, she had spent the last 10 years darting around different planets staying with different people. she had spent the last of her funds paying for the fastest flight to Erengal and she had pinned all her hopes on this one chance for a good living and good position in society.
* * *
In the command room of the Holly Bird the captain took a look on sensors, seeing nothing strange he went back to his chair and began reading the novel he had brung with him, the second in command walked around the deck with a suspicious face on but then again his face was always like that. the young man at the main sensor screen was half asleep and thus didn't see the approaching mass that had just blipped onto the corner of the screen, it was already to late anyway, there was no way to escape the coming event.
* * *
Patience had retired to her quarters to rest and was sitting on her bed -which was a little bumpy- reading over what she was going to say when she arrived at the department of robotics. Elmina sat in the corner of the room facing the door, she looked so life-like except for the completely empty of colour. her body was basicaly the same biuld as Patience -having been modeled on herself- however her bust and hips were bigger- she had only been activated on a few accasions when it was time to teach her more about the universe, however other than that Patience hadn't had the time to activate her - when she wasn't teaching Elmina she was working- until the big display of her to the scientists at the department of robotics.
Patience had drifted to sleep while still holding her speach when the mass collided with the Holly Bird, there was a huge thud and Patience was on the floor with the contents of her room al rumbling around her
whats happening, oh **** no not now, not when i was so close...
She crawled through the mess towards a lifeless Elmina, she grabed her head and switched her on
"Elmina activated please state your business" Elmina said
"Whats happening Elmina, what the heck is going on"
"The ship is stuck on the edge of an unknown anomaly,the ship is at full speed trying to escape the anomaly, however the conflicting forces are ripping the ship apart. It is safe to say the shp will be destroyed momenteraly".
"what, no not now what can we do, whats can we do, what **** you WHAT!!".
"we are located toward the front of the ship, the tear in the hull is increasing at a fast rate and if the ship were to break apart before the engines blow we will survive long enough to fall in to the anomaly"
"What that isn't what i wanted to know **** you i don't want to know how im going to d.........."
* * *
The tear in the ship had ripped the ship in half and the part attached to the engines blew to pieces pushing the remaining part into the gaping void at the center of the anomaly. all went blank from there on and as the hull of the ship entered the atmosphere of an unknown planet Patience and the remaining crew and passengers were all completely unaware of what was hapening and where it was happening. Only Elmina was aware of there predicament and she monitored there fall to the unknown through her internal sensors.
anywho this is the first chapter of a story i rote a couple of years ago, its my first attempt at Sci-Fi and id really like your oppinions lol, if you like it i will add the second chapter and so on lol. anyway its realy just a bit of fun hee
so here it is (as of yet its titled The Planet hee
Patience walked along the corridor of the Holly Bird while looking out of the thick glass that was all that stood between her and the massive viod known as space. The Holly Bird was a space transport that was 2 days from Patience's destination, the planet Erengal or more importantly the huge city of Erengial which was biult from the latest technology. Patience couldn't wait to see the city that poeple said was alive with technology, this was going to be her big break. She could find a place to stay and apply to the department of robotics to show off her lifes work.
just wait until they see Elmina, Patience thought with a smile they will surely hire me on the spot and then i will be set for life hehehee.
The Holly Bird was not the most attractive ship around both externaly and internaly but it was a fast ship and that was all Patience wanted to know before choosing to board it.
Patience was a young woman the age of 26. she was a tall woman and a thin one, as a young woman she was chided about her lack of bust but she had bigger things to think of than how to get a man, or men at all for that matter. she had spent the last 10 years creating Elmina and as a re**** of all her funds going into Elmina, she had spent the last 10 years darting around different planets staying with different people. she had spent the last of her funds paying for the fastest flight to Erengal and she had pinned all her hopes on this one chance for a good living and good position in society.
* * *
In the command room of the Holly Bird the captain took a look on sensors, seeing nothing strange he went back to his chair and began reading the novel he had brung with him, the second in command walked around the deck with a suspicious face on but then again his face was always like that. the young man at the main sensor screen was half asleep and thus didn't see the approaching mass that had just blipped onto the corner of the screen, it was already to late anyway, there was no way to escape the coming event.
* * *
Patience had retired to her quarters to rest and was sitting on her bed -which was a little bumpy- reading over what she was going to say when she arrived at the department of robotics. Elmina sat in the corner of the room facing the door, she looked so life-like except for the completely empty of colour. her body was basicaly the same biuld as Patience -having been modeled on herself- however her bust and hips were bigger- she had only been activated on a few accasions when it was time to teach her more about the universe, however other than that Patience hadn't had the time to activate her - when she wasn't teaching Elmina she was working- until the big display of her to the scientists at the department of robotics.
Patience had drifted to sleep while still holding her speach when the mass collided with the Holly Bird, there was a huge thud and Patience was on the floor with the contents of her room al rumbling around her
whats happening, oh **** no not now, not when i was so close...
She crawled through the mess towards a lifeless Elmina, she grabed her head and switched her on
"Elmina activated please state your business" Elmina said
"Whats happening Elmina, what the heck is going on"
"The ship is stuck on the edge of an unknown anomaly,the ship is at full speed trying to escape the anomaly, however the conflicting forces are ripping the ship apart. It is safe to say the shp will be destroyed momenteraly".
"what, no not now what can we do, whats can we do, what **** you WHAT!!".
"we are located toward the front of the ship, the tear in the hull is increasing at a fast rate and if the ship were to break apart before the engines blow we will survive long enough to fall in to the anomaly"
"What that isn't what i wanted to know **** you i don't want to know how im going to d.........."
* * *
The tear in the ship had ripped the ship in half and the part attached to the engines blew to pieces pushing the remaining part into the gaping void at the center of the anomaly. all went blank from there on and as the hull of the ship entered the atmosphere of an unknown planet Patience and the remaining crew and passengers were all completely unaware of what was hapening and where it was happening. Only Elmina was aware of there predicament and she monitored there fall to the unknown through her internal sensors.