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No Bull...

D

dinosaurJR

Biffy! Biffy! Biffy!
Joined
1 Jul 2009
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Sorry folks - just another funny story I found while trawling the nets...

If y'all think I'm spamming too many new threads, just let me know and anything else humorous I find I will just update this one...

So, here we go...

A bunch of cows and bulls are standing in a field in Germany. A huge gust of wind comes along and all the cows fall over, but the bulls just stand there, bracing themselves against the
gale.

All the cows stand up and go back to their chewing.

Pretty soon, an even stronger wind blows through and all of the cows are knocked to the ground, but the bulls just munch on the grass.

Next, a bona fide tornado comes through and all the cows are knocked clean into the next pasture. The bulls just say, “Mooo…â€

Finally, one of the cows walks up to one of the bulls and says, “Moo? Is that all you can say? How come the wind always knocks us right over and you just stand there?â€

“Isn’t it obvious?†the bull replies. “We bulls wobble, but we don’t fall down.â€
Click to expand...

He he he - but seriously, has anyone seen Yvonne the cow? She gone...:(
 
Terra_Inc

Terra_Inc

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Rodglas

Rodglas

The Very Model of a Modern Major-General
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we bulls wobble = weeble wobble
 
Hellkite

Hellkite

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military

Commander Leonard 'Bones' McCoy, M.D.: Bet you wished you'd stood in bed!



How Military policy began

This is military policy all begins...

Start with a cage containing five apes. In the cage, hang a banana on a string and put stairs under it. Before long, an ape will go to the stairs and start to climb towards the Banana. As soon as he touches the stairs, spray all of the apes with cold water. After a while, another ape makes an attempt with the same result - all the apes are sprayed with cold water.

Continue until, when another ape tries to climb the stairs, the other apes try to prevent it.

Now, turn off the cold water.

Now, remove one ape from the cage and replace it with a new one. The new ape sees the banana and wants to climb the stairs. To his horror, all of the other apes attack him. After another attempt and attack, he knows that if he tries to climb the stairs, he will be assaulted.

Next, remove another of the original five apes and replace it with a new one. The newcomer goes to the stairs and is attacked. The previous newcomer takes part in the punishment with enthusiasm.

Again, replace a third original ape with a new one. The new one makes it to the stairs and is attacked as well. Two of the four apes that beat him have no idea why they were not permitted to climb the stairs, or why they are participating in the beating of the newest ape.

After replacing the fourth and fifth original apes, all the apes which have been sprayed with cold water have been replaced. Nevertheless, no ape ever again approaches the stairs. Why not?

"Because that's the way it's always been around here."

That's how military policy begins...
Click to expand...

or


Misunderstanding terms

One reason the Services have trouble operating jointly is that they don't speak the same language.

For example, if you told Navy personnel to "secure a building," they would turn off the lights and lock the doors.

Army personnel would occupy the building so no one could enter.

Marines would assault the building, capture it, and defend it with suppressive fire and close combat.

The Air Force, on the other hand, would take out a three-year lease with an option to buy.
Click to expand...
 
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Terra_Inc

Terra_Inc

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I counter your military jokes with mathematical jokes.



Q: Why do you rarely find mathematicians spending time at the beach?
A: Because they have sine and cosine to get a tan and don't need the sun!
Q: How does one insult a mathematician?
A: You say: "Your brain is smaller than any ε>0!"
Q: Why do mathematicians often confuse Christmas and Halloween?
A: Because Oct 31 = Dec 25.
 
Hellkite

Hellkite

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An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first goes up to the bartender and says, "I'll have a pint of lager, please." Each next one says, "and I'll have half of what he's having."

The bartender says, "You're all idiots," and pulls two pints.

b3926cda8a4744842424127da6260f48.png

​
 
T

thunderfoot

Deleted Due to Inactivity
Former MSFC Member
Every night before he goes to bed, Superman puts on his Chuck Norris pyjamas.

Every night before he goes to bed, the Boogeyman checks under it for Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris is capable of dividing by zero. With no remainder.

Chuck Norris and Mr. T walk into a bar. The bar instantly implodes into a quantum singularity. No Human construct is capable of safely containing this much coolness and surviving intact.
 
CABAL

CABAL

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"I pity da foo' who sees me with Chuck Norris."
- Mr. T​
 
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